Our ladies in the movie industry in Nigeria just keep changing men like diapers. In the last couple of years what has reared its ugly head out of Nollywood are stories of divorce. With the recent divorce of Nollywood actress, Funke Akindele, it is no longer news that a lot of marriages which involve crème de la crème Nollywood actresses ended in another sad love story. Funke’s drama with husband of barely one year tops the list, given the glamour that accompanied the solemnization of their marriage and the manner in which the separation was relayed to the populace.
Most often than not, these super stars knew they were diving into troubled waters but for one reason or another they just didn’t give a damn. Funke Akindele’s husband was known to have fathered over ten children by different women before Funke decided to settle down with him.
Monalisa Chinda, who is romancing Lanre Nzeribe cannot say she is so wet behind the ears not to know that the guy is known as a top playboy. Many Nollywood actresses have also married at the expense of some other women who have had to relinquish their men to their beauty, fame and influence.
At least the methodology deployed by the husband, choosing Facebook to break the divorce news made Funke to have many sympathizers. That could have emboldened Funke, because she has since shrugged it off and is already painting the town red as she was spotted in many public outings.
Chika Ike Crashed Marriage….
Chika Nancy Ike was born November 8, 1985. She is a UN Ambassador and Nigerian actress, CEO of Fancy Nancy Collections. Chika is also a Human Kinetics and Health Education graduate from the University of Lagos.
In 2005, she landed her first roles in the movies Sweet love and Bless the Child, directed by T. Chidi Chikere. She is a two-time African Movie Academy Award nominee. In 2006 she was nominated for best upcoming actress and in 2009 she was nominated for best supporting actress. She founded "Chika Ike (Help A Child)" foundation.
Chika Ike got married to Tony Eberiri in June 2006, although she has been separated from her husband, for almost two years but the glee with which she announced the divorce granted to her on July 26 2013 by an Abuja High Court; two months after filing for divorce, set adrift once again another divorce saga which has an uncanny resemblance to that of Funke Akindele’s.
While Funke’s husband, Kehinde Oloyede took to Facebook to announce his separation from his wife, Chika chose Twitter to tell her fans that “she was finally free of Tony Eberiri”. “I’m now officially divorced. Thanks,” she tweeted.
The INFO EXTRA gathered from a reliable source that the Ekwuluobia, Umuchiana Village, Anambra State born actress, spread all sorts of falsehood against her husband to secure a divorce from the "ordinary" man.After making some money, which some say could be traced to sugar daddies, Chika Ike decided to dump her husband at all cost, as he longer match her "new class". Even after she got the divorce the actress went further to lie against the man on the social media that he was a wife beater.
The man somehow saw the story and has sent a strong warning to Chika Ike:
Mr Tony Eberiri was said to have sent her a clear warning to stop spreading further lies about him otherwise he is going to expose all her dirty acts.
Funke and Chika may now be on the spot but they have a long list of others before them. While a lot has been speculated on why these marriages fail, investigations have revealed that top on the list are abuse, infidelity, violence and what they have come to term ‘irreconcilable differences’.
Chika Ike’s Open Letter To Her Fans
Nollywood actress, Chika Ike in an open letter to her fans, described how she suffered physical abuse in the hands her husband for five years. Below is an open letter from the star actress, Chika Ike.
The past three years has been a very emotional period for me. I focused my energy on work and to build back my self esteem. its been really hard for me to come out straight and talk about this because sometimes I pinch myself to wake up and not believe that I was a victim of domestic violence. I’ve been through a lot in my life, faced a lot of challenges but this is one topic I’ve tried so hard to avoid and have been waiting for the right time but I have come to a resolve that there’s really no right time because every second of the day,lives are being lost due to domestic violence. I was a victiim of domestic violence in my marriage and that was the singular reason I left my marriage, aside other reasons.
Growing up as a girl. I was always known as the sweetest kid on the block, before I got married, I have been through some relationships and for once no man had ever laid a finger on me. The first time it happened in my marriage I didn’t understand it because I am not the type of woman a man beats but I guess there are no types. It just happens and no woman deserves it. As a young girl I thought it was love or his way of expressing his emotions,after every beating he pleads , cries and says it won’t happen again, once again I thought it was love and made excuses for him. Over the years when it kept happening consistently I started looking for other definitions for it. I started loosing myself pride, self esteem , self worth, and most painfully i lost a pregnancy (Miscarriage) I almost lost my life in the process then I realised how serious and abnormal it really was.I have heard and read a lot of accusations from ignorant people who don’t know my story,I guess that’s why they are ignorant. I was 20yrs old and very naïve to the world when I got married .“ They said I married for money“ LOL. I was married to a corporate guy,who had a 9_5 job in a bank, Lives in a rented 2 bedroom apartment at Egbe.. So do the maths! . I married for love. I did a traditional wedding. A white wedding and a court wedding. So that’s how much I wanted to be married forever. For five years I hoped, prayed & wished that one day it will all change. But the last straw that broke the carmels back was during a heated argument he threw a glass jug to my face and I dogged it and it shattered on d wall. I saw death flash before me and I made a decision to save my life. I left my marriage.
Am not saying this to draw pity from anyone because we are entitled to our opinions and believes. I am not also saying this to discourage people from falling in love because its a beautiful feeling and I still believe in it. I am saying this to educate, share and talk about my experience as a victim of domestic violence because it is real. Monalisa Chinda
Sexy Nollywood actress and divorced mother of one, Monalisa Chinda is pained at the fact that she has to go through the rough path of a divorce; she would have loved to remain with her ex-husband. Now that they are divorce she said "God forbid," she can't accept him back again.
Monalisa Chinda Dumps Lanre Nzeribe; Lover Boy Threatens Brimstone
Going by the information gathered by The INFO EXTRA, Monalisa Chinda has allegedly called it quit with alleged serial lover, Lanre Nzeribe and the lover boy is allegedly threatening brimstone and fire.
We learnt that Monalisa dumped Lanre due to his alleged promiscuous ways, which the light-skinned screen queen got fed up of.
Efforts by some friends to make Monalisa accept Lanre back has reportedly met brick walls as the Rivers State-born actress is said to be ready for whatever action Lanre might allegedly take on the issue.
We once got a hint that Monalisa was allegedly forced into the relationship in the first place due to an issue Lanre allegedly capitalised on.
Meanwhile, a source close to Monalisa authoritatively confirmed the break-up. The source confidently said that Monalisa and Lanre are no more together as lovers.
Laide Bakare messy divorce saga….
See the reasons for their break up below:
We would like to announce to the general public on behalf of Nollywood star actress, Laide Bakare that she has officially opted out of her relationship with Mr. Okunfulire, her former husband.
While it lasted, the actress showed the utmost level of maturity, in spite of the “glaring injustice’ from her former husband. Laide has endured the marriage with Mr. Okunfulire to whom she displayed total affection.
But things fell apart when she discovered that she was indeed married to a man with a legally married wife and two children not a single man she thought he was as told her by Mr. Okunfulire when the relationship started.
But, being a celebrity who has become a model to young persons in the society, coupled with the need to exercise decorum, she has kept fate with the marriage until lately when she could no longer continue and then called it quit.
Her former union with Mr. Okunfulire produced a beautiful child, Similoluwa who is nicknamed Chelsea.
Meanwhile, Laide has just entered into a new relationship with a Lagos based popular businessman, Mr. Tunde Oriowo a.k.a ATM. The relationship began late last 2012 and culminated in the lovers officially sealing it with the Muslim rites called Nikkai, at a quiet ceremony in Lagos attended by trusted associates and close family members from both sides.
Laide Bakare and Mr. Tunde Oriowo will be holding the wedding proper with a big bash before the end of 2013.
Unlucky Stella Damasus ….
Stella Damasus was born April 24, 1978. She is a Nigerian actress and singer. She was nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role at the African Movie Academy Awards in 2009. She was born Stella Ojukwu in Asaba, Delta State. She grew up in Benin City where she completed most of her primary education.
Stella is a Theatre arts graduate of the University of Lagos. She first appeared in the Nigerian film "Abused" in 1992. She has also starred in over 50 movies.
She lost her first husband, Jaiye Aboderin to the cold hands of death shortly after their marriage. After that, she tried to get on with life and tried her luck with Emeka Nzeribe. That luck did not hold as they separated just after two years, citing ‘irreconcilable differences’.
The controversial Nollywood actress got married secretly to her colleague’s ex-husband outside of the country few months ago, a story which was later leaked to the public.
Saheed and Fathia Balogun.....
The controversial divorce of two prominent yoruba movie stars, Fathia and saidi balogun is still a matter that is generating an eyebrow among their teeming fans. The both love birds parted ways on the basis of individual ego and other counter acquisitions coming from the two famous movie guru. Since their separation, several issues involved the two prominent movie stars were revealed to the public which still remain an amazing part of the separation.
Also fathia balogun sometime ago, proposed to become a new bridegroom to an American based big boy, but the marriage could not hold because the charming prince was still legally marry to his wife. But the Edo born talented actress disclosed the proposed marriage to the said guy was a tools she used to woe the general public and to get a media attention because she claimed that she was in no time plan any marriage with anybody. She maintained that the issue of marriage is a close chapter for now because she needs more concentration in her blossom acting career
The multiple award winning star actress registered that his ex-husband, saidi balogun, was only toying over his decision to stop her from further using of the name “balogun”. Fathia in her response, ‘I laugh, my name is fathia balogun and it’s going to remain Balogun for life’ She further boasted, ‘nobody can ever change that and nobody can stop me from answering that name’
Fathia’s response can certainly brew up a battle of the fittest because it would be re-called that saidi balogun once said in an interview that he would soon stop fathia from appending BALOGUN to her name which the star actress remain adamant and described the decision as a child’s play.
Before she recovers from one scandal or controversy, she is neck deep into another. Star actress Fathia Balogun seems not to be bothered by her name being the headlines for all the wrong reasons.
The latest gist about her is that, she is currently in a sizzling romance with Goriola Hassan, ex-husband of fellow actress, Ayo Adesanya.
Tongues began to wag a few weeks ago when both of them stormed a show in Lagos GRA.It was on Wednesday,28th December,2011. The event was the end-of-year show of lewd popular singer,St. Janet at Asake Afrocentric Pub,situated at 21,Joel Ogunaike Street,Ikeja GRA,Lagos.
Though the duo did not enter the exclusive hangout for big boys and babes together,Goriola drove his Honda Element car to the venue while Fathia strolled in less than 5 minutes later.Those who saw them at the event noticed how the 2 were into each other.
The lovebirds sat closely throughout the show and they left together.As if that was not enough,the duo were also cynosure of all eyes at the recent birthday party of star actress Mercy Aigbe on Sunday,1st January,2012 at La Veronique Hotel,Oregunwa Street,Oregun,Ikeja,Lagos.
The duo who initially sat at the VIP section of the hall where London-based juju singer,Sunny Melody was performing obviously had a wonderful time while the show lasted.This put a peg to insinuations that the duo were romantically linked.
Fathia drove Goriola’s Honda Element car to the event with the number plate ‘FB’ an acronym for Fathia Balogun which she used on her Nissan Jeep that no one can explain why she refused to ride in it for about a year. The duo have been reportedly sighted hugging,kissing and cuddling.
For the records, Fathia’s marriage to Saheed Balogun broke up about 3 years ago and since then she has been romantically linked with several Yoruba movie actors and a prominent marketer.
Goriola’s marriage to Ayo Adesanya packed up more than 2 years ago and since then he has not been linked with any actress or known babe.
Lola Alao….
Nigerian actress Lola Alao got married on Thursday, August 8, 2013, to an American-based IT expert, Wale Ajibola. Lola has a daughter from her previous marriage.
The Yoruba actress said she has forgiven her ex-husband, Dare Ogunlana, but allegations made by the man during the heat of the divorce saga are still fresh.
Dare described Lola as “diabolical, deceitful and a woman not to be trusted”, to which the woman responded with maturity by keeping mum.
to be continued...
Vanity of vanities, the preacher says, Vanity of vanities, All is vanity. For so it is that man who has skillfully wisely, skillfully and successfully must leave what is his own to someone who has not toiled at all. This too, is vanity and great injustice; for what does he gain for all the toil and strain that he has undergone under the sun? What of all his laborious days, his cares of office, his restless nights. This too, is vanity (Ecc. 1: 2, 21-3).
ReplyDeleteDivorce is never easy, but it's one of those life events that deserves a serious postmortem examination to figure out what really happened. I went through a divorce last year, and from that failure I've learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work.
ReplyDeleteWe tend to learn best from failure, and when a marriage fails you're certainly primed for a lot of learning and self-reflection.
ReplyDeleteOn the surface, my marriage had all the makings of something that should work: no infidelity, no abuse, and we seemingly got along great.
ReplyDeleteIt's no secret that communication is the key to the success of any relationship. In fact, it’s some of the most common advice you hear. The problem is, it isn’t always as simple as it sounds. People communicate in different ways, and in the case of my ex-wife and I, we communicated in what felt like entirely different languages. I was the more standoffish one who tended to communicate subtly, whereas she was more straightforward.P
ReplyDeleteSpouses need to speak in a calm and caring voice. They should learn to argue in a way that produces a solution, not just more anger. They have to practice "active listening," where they try to hear what the other person is saying, repeating back what they just heard and asking if they understood correctly...
ReplyDeleteGiving your partner the chance to vent frustration (and feel safe doing it) is part of your job as a spouse, whether that frustration is directed at you or about something else. Fights are absolutely fine. But it's important to set up a few ground rules about fighting. Here are a couple of rules my wife and I always follow:
ReplyDelete* No name calling or personal insults. She might call my idea idiotic, but that's very different than calling me an idiot. So, word choice is important.P
* Either of us can walk away from a fight if we need some time to cool off. The trick is, nobody just storms off. We always say some variation of "I need to cool down for a few minutes. Let's continue later."P
* This one is mostly if you have kids (and may be more parenting advice), but I feel like if you start a fight in front of your kids, you owe it to them to let them see how the fight gets resolved. Sending them away and then having them see later on that the fight is over doesn't alleviate fear or teach them anything.
It might not seem that obvious at a glance, but what psychologists call attachment styles is an important thing to think about when a relationship starts to get a little rocky. Attachment styles are essentially how we handle emotional attachment—whether you're an emotionally giving person who shows affection outwardly or you're more reserved—and when two people with opposite styles pair up as we did, a lot of confusion can happen.P
ReplyDeleteDiscuss how much this difference or big change impacts each of you separately and impacts your relationship.” This helps to figure out if you’re OK with the change and how you’re going to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteReaching a compromise is one way. “Compromise can mean different things to different people.” It might mean going with your partner’s desires this time, your desires or meeting in the middle.
Another way to deal with a big change is to “work on accepting the difference” and “not taking it personally.” For instance, your spouse leaning toward liberal views isn’t an affront to your more conservative philosophies. And it’s fine for some topics to be taboo for a couple. It’s something you don’t talk about so much because you know it brings conflict.
All relationships have their ups and downs, but when those downs stick around for a couple months they become ruts. Even a rut is common enough. When you spend a lot of time with someone it's inevitable you'll get a little bored of the routine if it never changes.
ReplyDeleteThe best marriage advice I've ever heard was don't get married. I'm all for long term relationships, but I will never get married.
ReplyDeleteAlmost all relationship problems can be boiled down to a few fixable issues.
ReplyDeleteDiffering expectations is a HUGE one in any relationship. Also, how can someone live up to your expectation if they don't know what it is?
ReplyDeleteAnger almost always comes from hurt feelings. You most likely did not mean to hurt your spouse's feelings so really there is not anything to fight about. (Or the fight is from grumpiness, just let them vent and get over it, you will appreciate the same when you are being grumpy.)
ReplyDeleteLet your spouse be the person they are. Don't let your expectations ruin things. They are who they are, and if you married them, you love them for who they are.
ReplyDeleteDont go in thinking you can "fix" the other person. Women do this crap all the time. "I can fix him!" no you can't, and all it does is piss off the other person.
ReplyDeleteStop being selfish. I keep hearing that marriage is a 50-50 arrangement. If you think that you are already failing. Marriage is a 100%-100% arrangement. you give 100% to your spouse and they give you 100% back. The second you hold anything back is the moment you start losing.
ReplyDeleteDivorce seems like the solution nowadays, and many have parents who led by example in getting divorced. Many divorcees falsely represent themselves as happier because, well, two reasons:
ReplyDelete#1: They don't want their former spouse to realize they're less happy, as there's always a sense of competition after divorce to be the more successful, well-adjusted half.
#2: They don't want any current relationships being ruined by the knowledge that they think they may have made a mistake.
Divorce, especially with kids/property, is not a "clean cut" affair. With kids, divorce can be a process of changing how you behave, think, and where/what times you can work. Super awesome job offer across the country? Are you willing to give up seeing your child more than 2-3 times a year? Do you want to deal with visitations, custody battles, and the "ex" for decades to come? Think about it.
ReplyDeleteI think something that a lot of people forget is that marriage and divorce only have the power that you give them. Being married won't make problems that exist in your relationship vanish. Getting a divorce won't make you happy if the underlying issues are with your mental health. I think it's really easy to get caught up in expectations that others have for you, and those expectations are often magnified by big commitments, including marriage.
ReplyDeleteGive more to your spouse and your marriage than you expect to get back, and do it with a cheerful heart. This tends to develop into a nicely positive feedback loop, unless you married a real jerk.
ReplyDeleteThat "rut" of boredome should have been a good time to see a marriage counselor. Marriage experts agree that understanding yourself is even more critical than good communication in a relationship. That falls in line with things like understanding your own attachment style and what you need from your partner.
ReplyDeleteCounseling is only as helpful as the commitment level of the couple. Professionals can help create awareness and understanding in a relationship, which ultimately leads to more connection and less conflict, but we can't make partners be more committed to one another. It sounds like your wife was resigned to splits ville before you walked into the therapist's office.